Zen Student: "When times of great difficulty visit us, how should we greet them?"
Teacher: "Welcome."
A couple of days ago, I bought the recent issue of the Shambala Sun magazine to take with me on my trip to Gaza. I do better reading short articles while flying. My attention just doesn't last long enough for reading books. Too much distraction.
Today, I am not going to Gaza. I got up and found the magazine I was going to take. Now I don't have to wait to read it. I opened to an article titled It Would Be a Pity to Waste a Good Crisis by Zen teacher John Tarrant. The article began with the quote above.
My story began more than three months ago when a woman invited me to go with her and her husband to Gaza to participate in the Gaza Freedom March. The beginning of the end of the story occurred a few days ago when that woman suddenly pulled out of the trip. That event sent a ripple out which created within me two days of intense soul-searching. It all culminated when, last night, her husband decided that he, too, was not going to Gaza at this time. I could still go. Everything is paid for, there are others from Colorado going and there would be over 1300 new friends to be made. Plus I would see a part of the world I have never seen and I would participate in the Gaza Freedom March in order to bring more awareness to the imprisoning of Palestinians in Gaza. The soul searching, though, brought about a different answer. The trip is over.
My trip was about wrestling with excitement, disappointment, anger, feelings of betrayal, beautiful support, witnessing awesome people with varying intentions, fear, empowerment, learning, struggling for clarity, finding the wise adult within, understanding, forgiveness, total awe at life. It was a great show while it lasted.
Now, well, here I am!
Please remember the people of Gaza and all who are suffering because we have forgotten that "Inasmuch as ye did it to one of the least of these my brethren, ye did it to me."
Many blessings and much love to you, dear Carol.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the struggle wasn't easy; I am glad that the decision is made and that you are OK with it.
Thank you, Nick.
ReplyDeleteI'm pooped. And disappointed. And amazed at the miracles in all of this. Waiting for fresh eyes so that I can look back and see the bigger picture.
Thanks for being here through all of it, Nick.
Carol, I am sure that a new and even better adventure is awaiting you just around the next corner.
ReplyDeleteSelfishly for me, I will not be concerned for you each moment you would be in the Middle East. I realize that I've not mentioned that before. I've tried hard to be objectively supportive. But beneath the surface, I know how volatile things are in Gaza and was concerned. Will you forgive me?
No need for forgiveness, Nick. Thank you for caring!
ReplyDelete(((((((((HUG)))))))))
ReplyDeleteThank you! (And right back to ya!)
ReplyDeleteWow, Carol! I missed one day of checking your blog, and now I read that your trip is off. What an emotional roller-coaster ride you must have been on lately.
ReplyDeleteI wish you peace and will certainly keep the 'least of my brethren in my prayers as well.
Goodnightgram,
ReplyDeleteYes, the roller coaster was intense!
Still queasy from the ride...
Peace to you, too. May it be so for all.
I too was concerned for you (as I am for those in Gaza).
ReplyDeleteI'm with Nick in thinking some other adventure is waiting for you.
Was Mr CfP on that rollercoaster too?
Thanks Dancing.
ReplyDeleteNo, Mr. CFP doesn't let a whole lot get to him. Sometimes it seemed strange that he was the only one who wasn't worried about me! But he and I share the philosophy that we won't get out of here alive, so we may as well do what our hearts lead us to while we are here.
Ah ... what a tip-top philosophy that is!
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