Undoing

I landed in Denver yesterday after the most sweetly relaxing flight I've ever known. For one who "never can sleep on a plane", sleep silently and softly moved in without my ever knowing it. With iPod earphones in ears and a beautiful woman's voice explaining how to look at the world differently floating through my head, I somehow slipped into that completely different world. Or, I should say, no world at all.

First, I was taking off from Seattle, completely absorbed in the complex flavors of the "Cherry Pie" Lara Bar I had found in my bag, then I was landing at the Denver airport, amazed at the snow-covered mountains which are so beautiful from that distance and which I'm not able to see from the close proximity of my home.

How like life, eh? We can't really see the beauty when we are too close to a situation - or too close to the mountains or to other people. We have to step back, sometimes by waiting for a period of time, sometimes by travel to a new environment, and often just by letting go of preconceived ideas and seeing the situation or mountains or your significant other through new eyes.

I have traveled for these classes six times over three years. Throughout these years, I have been swimming in the ocean of study by reading many writers and through phone conversations with classmates and teachers. Each time we have met, I have sat in class, the silent woman. I haven't yet known of anything that I needed to say, nor how to say it should something come to mind. Yet I sat there, staying totally present to what was going on around me and especially to what was going on within me.

So many changes have occurred. Like the silent fog moving in, like the sleep that I never knew was coming until it left, transformation has been slipping through this life, unannounced and unobtrusively.

Not going to say much more about all of this today. Maybe it will unwind into more words over time.

I know people who unpack as soon as they arrive home. Not me. I leave the suitcase for the next day. Unpacking so soon seems like a harsh landing. Some people dive straight into a cold pool. I walk slowly into the pool, allowing my body to adjust, one part at a time. I guess I'm a slow transformer.

Today is the day for unpacking and washing and stepping slowly into the cool pool I call my life in the Denver 'burbs.