As I was growing up, the last words I would usually hear from my mom as I was about to head out were: "Be careful."
Those words wore a deep groove into my brain.
A few years ago, to counteract that message that life is something to be afraid of, to be careful of, I painted these words above my front door: "Have Fun!" They were a reminder, as one crossed over the threshold into the world, to forget "careful" and instead to be aware of joy and wonder, to play in this play we call life.
As my dad's dementia has progressed, he has begun a ritual of always thanking us for our visits and then as we prepare to leave, he tells us to "Have fun!".
Yesterday, as my dad lay in his hospital bed, unable to keep his eyes open, my mom loudly told him that my brother and I were leaving. Dad opened his eyes and said, "Have fun!"
There were many times that I resisted minding my dad. I'm sure that I often had an attitude about doing what he said to do. But now I'm going to make him proud by doing my very best to Have fun!
I'm so glad your dad can still give you that kind of message. i know this is such a hard time.
ReplyDeletexxx
Foam,
ReplyDeleteIt's very hard. Thank you for acknowledging that. It helps a lot.
xo
Oh, Carol, hold on to those sweet things. They can be the seasoning that balances the struggle. What a touching post. You are in my thoughts. When my dad couldn't remember my mother's name, he still always referred to her as 'that nice lady.' It reminded me that he still had memories in his heart. Sounds like your dad does too. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThank you, G.G.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know that your dad traveled this route also...
My dad is so sick right now that there is very little seasoning, but it doesn't always take a lot of that to flavor a good soup (or life).
Awesome! Mind your Dad. He has some genius wisdom coming forward in this phase of his life. Also, if you'll recall you had painted that "Have Fun!" sign on the wall over the door in PURPLE paint.
ReplyDelete- Mr. CfP
Carol: Yes, he did. It was a 14-year deal. But it's not about me now, it's about you. And . . thanks to Mr. CFP for the fun information about the PURPLE painted sign. Makes my day.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, Mr. CfP. I hadn't thought of that.
ReplyDeletePower to the Purple!
G.G.,
ReplyDeleteI hope that you and your family had many times of sweet seasonings as you traveled that road for 14 years.
Carol: We did.
ReplyDeleteHow very beautiful, Carol. To this day, my mother tells me to "be careful" when I'm off on a trip. And when I tell her that one of our own children is off on a trip, again it's "I hope they'll be careful." It's her kind of love.
ReplyDeleteBut that message from your dad right now is just so special, and life-affirming, and what you need to hear.
You are right, San. That is how some people show their love and caring. And it's very sweet.
ReplyDeleteI have used the "be careful" mantra for myself for a long time, so now, for a change, I'm adding the "have fun" mantra to it. A nice balance! :-)