I have an extreme case of insecurity and overwhelming feelings of inadequacy regarding my photographic abilities. On the other hand, I see Mr. Carol For Peace as a very talented photographer.
And I'm not alone in my assessments. Mr. Carol For Peace gets all kinds of accolades for his photos. People specifically ask him for copies. He was asked to donate framed photos for the fundraiser auction at work. I was not.
I live mostly in the right side of my brain. Mr. Carol For Peace is a left-brainer. He understands all of the technical things about a camera. I rely on luck - and once in awhile, it comes through for me.
In Glacier National Park, the Hidden Lake trail begins in a gradual uphill trek for 1 1/2 miles. Because it originates at the popular Logan Pass Visitors Center, the trail is VERY well populated with two-leggeds. Well, it's busy up until the 1 1/2 mile point. After taking photos of the lake from a lookout point there, probably 95% of the crowd turns back.
A four-legged along the way.It was fortunate for me that we were the only hikers going down to the lake, because somewhere along the way down, I threw my fit of inadequacy. It was also somewhere on that descent that I took the photo that you see above. I think that's a pretty nice photo (mostly thanks to scenery that can't be beat), so obviously what I believe about myself is not necessarily always true.
I have been working on questioning the preposterous thoughts that this mind can make up, but it can still sneak right in with some strange thing that I'll believe - even in the face of conflicting facts! As I struggled with those crappy feelings in my body and rude thoughts in my head that day, Mr. CFP asked me a question - I don't remember exactly what it was right now - but it incited a flood of tears to well up. Tears of sadness that I can be so hard on myself. Realization about the story that I tell myself - a story that I am not good enough. Then for a moment, I found some compassion for myself.
Soon after that little drama, Mr CFP and I found ourselves alone along the edge of Hidden Lake. Truly, in many ways, the journey was as wonderful as the destination.
(This was written in response to Dancing's request regarding my banner photo. I don't know if this is what she was asking for, but this is what came out.)
This is, of course, an amazing photograph. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I would be delighted to be able to take a photo like this. However, I have serious height problems as you know so it's not likely.
ReplyDeleteJust change that line of thinking - you ARE good enough.
I'm more like you than Mr. CFP. I rely on the 'luck' part of photography. But I shoot anyway!
ReplyDeleteDear Carol, -sister!
ReplyDeleteMany people are hard upon themselves, and it doesn't really help anything very much, it's generally quite inappropriate and much reduces their god-given quotient of JOY which we are each allotted!
If you'd like to increase levels of joy, one useful little thing is to do is check out something like NVC (Non Violent Communication) . In that beautiful training, one learns not only to have empathy for *others*, -- but for oneself as well.
I was really quite surprised when I first learnt that I could have empathy for me, as well as all others!
It's not about ego, or becoming more arrogant, selfish and egotistical (thank goodness!) just about learning that to beat oneself up isn't what our Maker intended, and is most likely a 'learned thing' –as when repeating a pattern someone else dumped on us...
If I love you, why not love yourself?
–Please copy this *one* trait of mine (which, btw: I have in common with your dear hubby and all your friends!) and you will likely smile deeper, --and longer, and more often! :)
With love to all,
Yan xx
Well, Carol, I believe that you are an excellent photographer. I have viewed many of your photos and I have been impressed with you "eye."
ReplyDeleteThank you for bringing to my eye what I cannot see in person.
I still envy your vistas. Mea culpa. Such spectacular sights and wonderful photography - always, not just the ones from Mr. CFP either.
ReplyDelete