This is about death.

And it's not morbid.

It's about being alive in this amazing moment.

RIGHT NOW!

Right now, I see the sun rising behind a three-story maple tree.

I hear the ti ti ti of Buddha's nails on the hardwood floor.

I feel the cool September air on my bare feet.

What do you see, hear and feel right now in this moment?



My dentist, who is younger than me

and who I love as a person

even more than as a great dentist

has lived through two kidney transplants

and the return of cancer after cancer

among other hard things.

He will no longer agree to more chemo.

He may not be here to do my 2011 check-up

But he may.

We never know such things ahead of time.


Last night

I watched a video

showing the smiling faces

of high school seniors

circa 1970,

students two years older than me

who are no longer alive.

They didn't make it to their 40th high school reunion.

I looked at those 19 faces, frozen as 17- and 18-year-olds,

faces of those who thought that they would live to be old,

and realized that I don't know if I will still be here

for my 40th class reunion.

We never know such things ahead of time.


Somehow,

all of this just makes this moment,

this moment where the sun shines so brilliantly orange,

and Buddha's ti ti ti sound has dropped into silence,

and my feet are cool enough to ask for socks...

it makes this moment so intensely whole,

so complete

and satisfying

and precious beyond words.