Unshocked

This is what it feels like:

I'm holding it together (whatever "it" is) and then a big bird flies overhead and shits - right on my noggin.

Have you ever had a bird shit on your head?  I have.  On my wedding day.  After I had already showered, but not yet dressed myself in the off-white-with-roses-patterned dress I had made for the occasion.  I was out under the trees in our backyard when I felt something hit me.  When I asked my daughter if there was something in my hair, I knew the answer by the way she almost rolled on the lawn, howling.  As I went inside to re-wash my hair, I told my rude daughter not to tell anyone what happened - especially the soon-to-be Mr. CfP - until after the wedding.  So what did she do?  Oh, you must know my daughter...

I swear that the universe waited for that perfect time to shit on me. I had owed it a debt for about 35 years.  You see, I had once laughed until I couldn't breathe after watching my little brother, about three years old at the time, get splattered from head to shoulder with bird poop.  Yes, I was an innocent five year old, but the stars keep score, I swear.

So when I talk about getting shit (shitted?) on, I know what I'm talking about.  You may, too.

Which takes me back to my unshocked title.  Even though it takes a lot of fortitude to get through this parent thing right now, it isn't more than I can handle.  But I'm walking the edge enough that things, like that near miss a short while back and then another little family trauma which occurred a couple of days ago, feel like the little bird dropping that can be enough to knock me over the edge.  A certain shock sets in and I get all into myself and my story.

And a story with one character is usually boring - for the character and for the reader.

I would like to say that I recover within minutes, but the truth is that it takes a couple of days before I start to feel the ick of it all and to again hear Don Juan's words to Carlos Castaneda: "You indulge like a son of a bitch." That knocks the shock off of me and I remember that there is more happening here than the little world which I seem to have created.


Thank you for all of your support.  I'm truly getting that this is a very supportive world.  We are all held up - I just forget sometimes.