The Invisible Wars

I've been trying to figure out why I can be accepting and understanding of the behaviors of someone who has Alzheimer's/dementia, but it's not so easy for me to play along with someone who is less-than-rational/logical/kind but has no diagnosis...

Guess I need to imagine a certificate on the wall announcing that the person in question has a certifiable disease so that I can be as patient with them as I am with my dad.
 
Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, which I think I've posted here before, but it bears repeating (that is, for me, it bears repeating a few times daily):

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.

 

Dropping Some Dimes

As I have been following Reed of "A Year of Giving",  I picked up the quote below.  Been meaning to post it and also to start leaving dimes in various places, but I've been a little distracted.  I haven't researched any further on this, but it makes sense to me.

    According to one experiment conducted by Isen and Levin, experimenters looked for helping behavior in unaware subjects after they left a public phone-booth. Whether or not the individuals helped a person in need was found significantly influenced by whether or not one had just found a dime in the phone-booth. In the initial experiment, the results for the 41 subjects are as follows (Doris 2002, 30):

    Found Dime: (14 exhibited helping behavior, 2 did not exhibit helping behavior)
    Didn’t Find Dime: (1 exhibited helping behavior, 24 did not exhibit helping behavior)

    These results suggest that morally significant behavior such as helping another in need depends largely on minute factors of the situation that are not in the control of the agent.

It doesn't take much to bring out the best in people.  Gives me so many ideas about spreading kindness!

 ~~~~

On the family front, everyone got sleep last night!  I got ten hours!  Stockpiling that stuff up for the lean times...

Yesterday (or the day before, can't remember) I told you about Amanda, the daytime caregiver who is Native.  Well, the nighttime woman is also Native.  Only she hasn't told me that: I just know.  She is young.  And get this:  She works twelve hour shifts - from 7 pm. until 7 am, THEN she goes to college!  Holy jamoley.  I have to think of her any time I don't believe I can do something.  She is studying to be a Physician's Assistant!  We are so lucky to have her, and the world is lucky to have this wonderful woman in the area of healthcare.

Maybe my dad is just doing this sick thing so that I can meet all of these angels...

:-)

On Giving (and Receiving)

I've been taking a Practice of Kindness class on-line and it is a wonderful experience.  

The first week, we were to do something kind for ourselves. I found that I do that.  A LOT.  But I don't normally completely receive my own kindness.  I don't FEEL it, take it in.  So the gift I gave myself was to really take in the kindnesses I do for myself.  In fact, I became more aware of the kindness of others and the kindness of Life.

I give myself an A+ for Week One.

For the second week, we were assigned the task of thinking of people who have been kind to us and we were to do something kind for them.  I had someone in mind.  I wanted to send him a card made with one of my photos.  I found that I am doing so many kind acts for my parents that I had no energy left to get the right photo printed, write the note, and get it sent.

I flunked Week Two.

Except I didn't, because I do kindnesses every day.

Just not the one that I had intended to do...

We are now in Week Three.  I can't remember the assignment.  I'm tired.  Oh, yeah.  We are to do an act of kindness for a good friend.  Still working on that.

This afternoon, I will be receiving a wonderful gift of kindness from one of my massage therapist friends.  She offered me a free massage because she knows that I am doing so much right now.  When she offered it, the floodgates opened up and I bawled like a baby.  Her thoughtfulness was so touching and beautiful.

I just picked some vegetables from my garden for her (hoping that she likes such things).

Now, as an act of kindness for myself, I'll quit grading myself in this class!

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.
Dalai Lama

One of my favorite quotes:

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - (Plato?)