Monday, March 30, 2009

Uncurling My Toenails

On the way to my retreat, I got to face, in a most uncomfortable way, the impatience that resides within my personality.

For some reason, when I travel - unless I'm on a road trip with no determined time-frame to arrive at any destination - I just want to get from point A to point B with as little stopping along the way as possible. This is especially true when I'm itching to get from the city to my little cabin in the valley. Talk about not living in the moment!

I had two passengers, Mr. and Mrs. FunPeople, with me as we traveled to Retreatsville. First they wanted to stop for supplies before we left town; then 30 minutes later we stopped at a little store beside the highway so that Mr. FunPeople could get internet connection for his laptop; then an hour later, the hubby wanted to pull over to have a phone conversation at a point where reception was good. And another hour later, they needed a CHEESEBURGER stop! I was really trying to be a laid-back good sport, but by the time we hit the cheeseburger place, my toenails were beginning to curl.

As I sat in the truck, on a beautiful Colorado mountain day, I remembered some of the teachings that were the reason I was going to Retreatsville. I remembered that all there is is this very moment - right here, right now. And even this moment has no stability, because it is already gone and now there is only THIS moment. All along the highway, I had been pushing for a future when I would "be there".

With that realization, I let go and arrived where I was.

And I felt the cool, clean mountain air that I so love.


  1. That photo borders on surreal. How much of life do I miss, I wonder.

  2. I know exactly what you mean. I've driven all the way across the country, stopping only for gas. Ugh!

    Would your retreat happen to be around Estes Park?


  3. B.E.,

    Isn't the light amazing? I became enamored with the silence and glow of dusk while on my retreat.

  4. Chani,

    Nice to know that I'm not the only one who avoids "unnecessary" stopping!

    Nope! Not Estes! I should set up a contest... ;-)

    (Don't tell anyone - it's outside of Crestone - and if you don't know that town, it's worth Googling. I think, other than the fact it's not by water, you'd like it a lot.)

  5. I'm sitting in the Salt Lake airport on a two hour layover before finally getting home. It's 3 am Ireland time and I've been up 20 hours now. So while I'm trying to heed your advice about being in the's not working too well.

  6. Ah, come on, Larry. What's 20 hours??? ;-)

  7. Delightful, Carol. I, too, used to travel in such manner: get where you are going as fast as possible. I think it is the "J" in my personality.

    Then, on a driving trip through west Texas, when I was bored by the endless seemingly same scenery, I decided to live in the moment rather than focus on the end of the trip. I full off the Interstate onto the side road than ran parallel to it and got out of the car.

    I was amazed how much neat stuff I found to investigate in the desert!

    And then, Carol, like you, "With that realization, I let go and arrived where I was."

  8. Thanks for sharing your desert story, Nick. "Where we are" is so rich, it's kind of amazing how little time we spend here!

  9. I do the same thing. I just want to get to where I'm going and don't take time to enjoy the journey... Need to work on that.