When my mom said that she wanted to be well now and it was only a couple of weeks after she had broken her shoulder, the wonderful orthopedic doctor said, "I understand." I have heard him say that so many times since then.
Mom wants to be 100% rehabbed NOW.
The doctor doesn't tell her why that's an irrational want and he doesn't say that she'll have to wait until such-and-such a date. He just says, "I understand."
And my mom thinks that he is a really good man.
Even though I admire that man's ability to just empathize without adding to, or subtracting from, the story presented him, and even though I would like to have his communication skills, I have yet to be able to let go of whatever need I have to be right or smart or impatient or argumentative myself. I have yet to say, "I understand" when my mom feels tired or sad or impatient about her health or about my dad.
I haven't said those two words once to my mom or to Mr. CfP or to my son or to my daughter or to anyone else.
Even though I can't think of anything that anyone needs more than someone to understand, I still can't get those two simple words into my head.
Maybe a tattoo on the back of my hand will help? Or better yet, on the back of my eyeballs?
I feel a little frustrated about this.
Oh, you understand?