I guess I had my own little Israel/Gaza thing going there for awhile.
As I prepared for my trip, I was "she who was going to be going to Gaza". I definitely had an identity around that. Not saying that is bad. It's just what was going on. I was excited because I had never done anything like that before. I had a lot of planning to do, so it was on my mind most of the time. And I also had some identity of being an activist who was going to bring awareness to a wrong in the world.
Then everything changed and I was no longer "she who was going to Gaza". I became "she who is sad and disappointed about not going to Gaza". Except when distracted by something else, THAT was on my mind most of the time.
I finally sat down and looked at myself, asking some good questions and waiting for the answers (I use Byron Katie's "The Work" frequently in order to question my thoughts). What a relief! I'm not kidding.
I am free!
When holding on to our identities as "she who is going to Gaza" or "he who has is a member of the 'Chosen Ones'" or "she who has been victimized by...", we can be at war with each other and ourselves, and we are definitely at war with the truth. The truth is that we are so much more than any of the identities that we choose to claim as ours.
Isn't it more enjoyable (and less harmful) to just be free?